the sound of mom

Ah, the good ole days. I remember when Isaac was just a baby – a few days old - and I could quickly quiet him with a whisper or a nonsense song. Now, he’s all of six weeks and good luck to me. Sometimes if he fidgets in his sleep I can still manage to lull him by letting him know I’m close by. A quick hello can do it. Most times, however, it’s to no avail.

It seems to me that these days, his reaction to my voice is one of increased distress. Like when he wakes from a nap fretting or when he’s wailing through a bath his dad is in charge of. I talk, he cries louder. He seems to be saying, "You were right there and not doing anything to soothe me?!?" and "You knew this was going on and did nothing to stop it?!?" respectively.

But mostly, I imagine he’s confused by my voice here on the outside. Home birth or not, maybe he’s concerned that he’s been switched. - Where’s the sarcastic lady with the sailor mouth? he’s probably thinking. She’s there; she’s just reeeeeally tired. What I could really use is someone to whisper to me, or sing me a nonsense song. I promise to go right to sleep.