fact
I can just look at my little boy and know unequivocally that he does not belong to me.
Sometimes I wish with great ferocity that he did, and other times I'm so relieved he doesn't I can barely keep from weeping. But either way, the fact remains.
I knew it early on, maybe even from the moment they placed his slick, pink body on mine, that although he is my son, he is a soul apart from me with his own gifts and purpose.
I am writing this down now in case there is a time I forget it, when I try to steer him toward something that is my challenge and not his, for when I am hunched over from trying to carry his pain. Even when I want it to be different, maintaining this clarity is helpful, dare I say, calming.
Sometimes I wish with great ferocity that he did, and other times I'm so relieved he doesn't I can barely keep from weeping. But either way, the fact remains.
I knew it early on, maybe even from the moment they placed his slick, pink body on mine, that although he is my son, he is a soul apart from me with his own gifts and purpose.
I am writing this down now in case there is a time I forget it, when I try to steer him toward something that is my challenge and not his, for when I am hunched over from trying to carry his pain. Even when I want it to be different, maintaining this clarity is helpful, dare I say, calming.
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2 comments:
Amen.
Yes, it is sometimes difficult to remember when you are aching to steer your child in some direction he does not want to see. But never fear - he will go his own way.
- Mom
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