menu of a 3-year-old

We all hear about kids who are picky eaters. Like, they eat raisins. Exclusively. Only with a fork. The one with the blue handle. Or, they won't touch vegetables, even the ones their mothers shape into intricate facial expressions, the green beans giving the brows that oh-so-surprised look.

So here's my little one's alimentary hang ups.

-Every day for the last two weeks at least two meals of the day have consisted of honey yogurt and apple granola.

-He does not like grilled cheese, or any kind of hot, melted cheese-like dish. When I wasn't downing Minute Rice and TV dinners as a kid, I lived on “fake pizzas” - i.e. toast with a spoonful of spaghetti sauce and a piece of cheese stuck in the broiler or toaster oven for a minute. I can barely comprehend that my child does not fancy these delicacies. Recently when serving him a modified version of same, along with carrots and cucumbers, the boy cleaned his plate of vegetables, leaving his cheesy goo untouched.

-Isaac hates muffin tops. I'm not even joking. He will only eat the bottoms of muffins and begs me to let him eat the paper too.

-I know things are getting weird now, so let me bring you back to something you can hold on to. My kid's not a total odd ball – he loves ice cream. Today, he talked me into making some via a single serving recipe from one of his National Geographic magazines. Marching around the kitchen grinning with his bowl of frozen half and half, he could hardly contain his joy, and, just to take his place in the classic scene of child with food – boy with ice cream, he promptly dropped it upside down on the floor and burst into tears.