Saturday, December 31, 2011

24 Hours

Follow Our Family Through 24 Hours! A Multiple-Choice Game Where YOU Decide the Outcome!

It's 1am. Mike is
a) asleep
b) creating witty statuses on Facebook
c) washing the dishes
d) sweeping the dead bird off the eave outside the bedroom window

It's 2 am. Rhys is
a) asleep
b) crying to be fed
c) wide awake for the hell of it
d) exhibiting behavior that Kitty will undoubtedly twist into something to worry about

It's 3am. Kitty is
a) asleep
b) emailing doctors
c) wide awake for the hell of it
d) writing in her journal in the dark

It's 4am. Emily Cat is
a) asleep
b) throwing up on the new futon
c) wide awake for the hell of it
d) “entertaining” a mouse friend

It's 5am. Isaac is
a) asleep
b) asking how to write five million billion two hundred thousand hundred thirty four
c) wide awake for the hell of it
d) informing us he has to pee

It's 6am. Mike is
a) asleep
b) going for a run in 20-degree weather
c) changing a diaper
d) being kicked by Kitty to get up and feed the cat (since she threw up her dinner and Mike took her mouse away)

It's 7am. Rhys is
a) asleep
b) cooing and smiling
c) downstairs making breakfast with Daddy

It's 8am. Kitty is
a) wishing she were still asleep
b) telling Isaac how to write five million billion two hundred thousand hundred thirty four
c) watering her succulents

It's 9am. Emily Cat is
a) asleep
b) asleep
c) asleep
d) all of the above

It's 10am. Isaac is
a) at school
b) home again for another freaking holiday, good god, how many fucking holidays can there be in a year?? have mercy!
c) playing quietly by himself

It's noon. Mike is
a) working from home without a hitch
b) making his lovely lactating wife lunch
c) thinking about buying snow tires, refinishing the living room floor, and insulating the pantry

It's 2pm. Rhys is
a) asleep
b) at another doctor's appointment
c) eating his Yummy Bear friend with relish

It's 4pm. Kitty is
a) starving
b) sitting in her newly renovated studio office fulfilling her true calling of writing
c) fielding another housecall from some well-intentioned college kid campaigning for an end to all the evils of the planet while really just freezing us all as she holds open the door and thinking maybe it wasn't such a great idea to move to a socially-conscious small town after all because did they see this freaking house, I mean, do they THINK we have any money?? And by the way my baby just had surgery, so stay the hell back and don't infect any of us with any of your collegey germs. And I want to save the world, too, okay, but really, it's been a hard year, so what do you say you just go on your way, back to Trader Joe's where your kind all have carts full of figs, peanutbutter and peppermint Jo-Jos, it's safer for all of us that way, you understand? Now, Buh-Bye.

It's 6pm. EmilyCat is
a) asleep
b) asleep
c) trying to trip Kitty while she carries the baby in one arm and tries to open her food can with the other

It's 7pm. Isaac is
a) asleep
b) complaining that Santa didn't bring him everything on his list
c) deciding he's still hungry after he's already brushed his teeth and that no, he doesn't really have room for any more beans or salad, but what he REALLY could go for is maybe, he thinks, um, one of the candy canes on the tree, but just a bite, just one, okay? One? One teeeeeeeny one? Teeeeeeny bite? Teeeeeeny weeeeeeeny???

It's 8 pm. Mike is
a) reading Isaac the same Captain Underpants book for the five million billion two hundred thousand hundred thirty fourth time
b) sneakily eating all the coconut M&Ms
c) researching by the glow of the laptop something no one but an engineer would begin to understand while the rest of his family is passed out around him

It's 9pm. Rhys is
a) asleep
b) crying to be fed
c) wide awake for the hell of it

It's 10pm. Kitty is
a) asleep
b) waking up since she fell asleep putting Isaac to bed hours ago
c) writing blog entries in her head while she nurses the baby

It's 11pm. Emily is
a) asleep
b) throwing up on the new futon
c) waking up the baby for the hell of it

It's midnight. Isaac is
a) asleep
b) wide awake because he can't sleep with the scary wind blowing
c) wide awake because the baby is crying, the cat is meowing, the mice are squeaking, and is that a dead bird out the window?

memoir titles

Trying to come up with titles for a memoir to cover this year. Here are a few contenders so far:

Chopping Vegetables on the Washing Machine: A Guide to Home Ownership

My Kid Might Be Allergic to Maple Syrup: How You Too Can Move to New England!

Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned on Craig's List

The Altar In Front of Children's Hospital Was Crowded, So I Threw Them the Bird Instead: When the Diagnosis is Positive

When I Tell You Where I Moved From, Do Not Say “WHY?!”: How To Miss Monterey in 5 Easy Steps Months

Blasting Begins 12/13. Please Expect Delays: Our Travels to Boston

Like Ripping Off A Bandaid: Snow in October and Other Ways to Get the Pain Out of the Way Quickly

My Home Inspector Quoted Rumi To Me: The Trials of a Poet Mama

When Roadtrips Go Bad: How to Fight in Front of Your Child While Eating at a Vinyl-Cushioned Booth in a Diner Somewhere in Pennsylvania

Mommy! The Cat Has More Playdates Than I Do! : Varnish and Varmints of a 110-year-old House

Happy New Year, All!

Friday, December 16, 2011


Wish I had time to write it all out right now, but suffice to say we are home from the hospital! It was pretty much record time. We are now exhausted and starting over on various counts, but home nonetheless. Rhys is smiling again and doing pretty darn well. Will try to post over the next couple days.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

post op

Just a quickie note to say Rhys is out of ICU and doing well. We're on to pain management right now - another hurdle but I suppose considering all he's been through, not terrible albeit more stress on the mama.

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