renters’ haiku

My sister still talks about the haiku I wrote in the entry from over two years ago when I was a starving, raving preggo locked out of my car at the pool. So, in the whirlwind of stress that has been my last two weeks, as my landlord prepares to sell our house, prepares evil messages on lawyer letterhead, as my son recovers from a stomach flu that had me wondering if we would just run out of things to wear that weren’t already covered in vomit, as, as, as…I thought I’d offer just a couple renters’ haiku. Nothing like some 5-7-5 to still the mind:

Application hell
your references haven’t called
meanwhile homeless


the pet deposit
she’s a CAT, not a RHINO!
are you kidding me?


No one trusts the cat
maybe I’LL pee on your rug
or just get a fish


“Why don’t YOU buy it?”
realtor asks in a sweet tone
someone hold me back