Monday, March 29, 2010

next blog

Go ahead. Up there on the top bar. Have you tried it? Click “next blog” and see what you get. (Facebook people, you'll have to go to the “original post” link at the bottom first.)

It's “random,” of course. But I'm betting on some happier than happy white folk discussing the ins and outs of their various babies – the cast of characters depicted on the sidebar rimmed in scrapbook-like borders that could make the steadiest among us dizzy. It'll be called, oh, let's see...something along the lines of “The Hill Clan” or “Those Crazy Philipsons!” or “Our Days with Daisy.”

This is what I am a part of. Well, that and if you click long enough the “nexts” turn into Portuguese language blogs and, ultimately, gloomy black backgrounds alight in neon scripts about motorcycles. The connections in any of these three groupings aren't 100% clear to me, but then, I'm not an internet marketeer or a blog site host.

Any of you who know me well will get immediately that what bothers me most here is my affiliation with the first group. I get that people love their babies – hey! I like mine too! Every other day or so, at *least*. And that they want to share pictures and stories with others they care about and who care about them. And - dammit! - it's their right as Americans (and Brazilians and Harley riders) to do so. I just can't help squirming a little when they pop up on either side of my blog. Am I really any different than they are? The complex and uncertain answers to that one have kept me up nights.

I don't know if I'll ever get used to the mommy group part of being a mommy. Are there any groups you are a part of by default, or association, or some crazy turn in your life like having a child, that make you uncomfortable? What blows has your self perception sustained in recent years? What modulations in identity? What would you hope might pop up as your “next blog?”


Christine Gram said...

Haha. I did push next blog and you nailed "Tally Baby" to the letter. Its actually why I try very hard to NOT talk about my kids so much, and fail of course as they both have their internet identities since they just wiggle their way into the picture so often.

I don't mind at all connecting with other mom's, but I detest mom groups. I participated in one once and was bored out of my gourd by all the diaper and what are you feeding jr. talk. And just about turned myself inside out when I found myself participating. Gag. And to be honest, I don't generally go back to the blogs that emulate these groups. And I don't think that either of our blogs falls into these groups (denial).

The school parent groups might have been a major factor in our decision to move abroad.

I'd like my "next blog" to be at 14 year old's account of his family's life living aboard their sailboat. Or a sculptor who enjoys biking in the Chicago winter. Or even an activist parent that integrates school yard gardening and irradiates channel one from their local school district. Or someone like you.

Kitty said...

I have never met a mommy group that didn't make me vomit.

"The school parent groups might have been a major factor in our decision to move abroad." Wow. I can see myself snapping there too though. I can envision the suitcases and the world map flung open on the bed after some dumb-ass encounter.

Here is one of my mommy group rants:

And here is one
I wrote the same day I was featured on (now defunct) which I'm sure they loved, not, and goes to show I should be kept away from joining things with mom in the title. Of course there is now a Mom BLogs icon on my page, but it's all about shameless self promotion.

ruby said...

default groups - human, suburban, redheads, caucasian (whatever that means), female, office worker, commuter, carbon based life form, mother, divorcee, working class, college grad, facebooker, daughter, sister, dog lover, heterosexual, emotional eater, rock and roller, 1000 etcs. these are labels that other carbon based life forms can use to make judgments about me and assure themselves that they are different than me. but they are not.

bobbie said...

I spent a whole lot of years of my life looking for the right group to fit into. Then I finally grew up. Hate labels, which do go with all groups. Now, belatedly, I sort of ignore such things, and ignore it when others try to fit me into them.
You've always done your own thing, Kit. Keep on keeping on, and don't let it get to you.

Dianne said...

I never was a joiner, unless it was a group that didn't like groups ;)

the really ferocious mommy bloggers make me nuts and I always want to smack them

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