Thursday, September 02, 2004

reacting to the news & my first million

I'm going to make a fortune. And I didn't even have to watch an infomercial. No, I'm going to write a book that's a collection of all the quotes from friends and family -- their initial reactions when I told them I was pregnant. I'm going to publish it in smart colors, cloth cover but pocket-sized - like the "overheard at the bookstore" books, or that one with quotes from NY taxi drivers - and I'm going to send it out with stunningly attractive cardboard displays painted like marble that can be placed right at the cash register for that last-minute, impulse buy. I'm going to be rich, I tell you.

Who wouldn't want to own this stuff? --
There was Angela, who had witnessed my apparent downward spiral in health before I knew what was going on. When I told her I was pregnant, she blurted out, "Oh thank God! I thought you had leukemia!"

There was my sister, who nearly let out a high-pitched, quite uncharacteristic squeal. Then told me, "The first year is great, you'll love it." I inquired about the next 17 but never got an answer.

Eve said "wow," a lot. It went something like, "Wow, wow...wow. Wow-wow-wow. Wow. Wow...Wow-wow." etc. She'd told me once all her friends were becoming stay-at-home moms and she wanted to be one too, just without the kids.

And there were the 2,000+ variations on "everything happens for a reason." Then Anne. Anne was the only one. She sniffed here and there collecting data and then asked, "So, where do you stand on the 'everything happens for a reason' line of philosophies." Anne is smart. That's why Anne's my friend. Anne will share in my fortune. The rest of you are SOL.


6 comments:

ruby said...

alright, ann sounds cool. but which sister? did i say that? anyway its true. the first year IS great. and i think i must have just changed the subject, i wasn't avoiding the question or anything. i don't want your lousy money anyway.

Kitty said...

mmm-hmmm. ah, yah, that was you. the other sister would have simply squealed and wouldn't have known jack about the first year or any other. i'm leaving the kid with you while i jet off to sandy islands on all that money you don't want.

ruby said...

i really don't think i squealed.

Kitty said...

that's why it says "nearly let out" a squeal. you thought about it.

ruby said...

i am not prone to squealing, and in fact never thought about it. i'm sure that the last time i squealed i was enjoying something oh so much more interesting than you gestating.

AnnieD said...

Aww, shucks, Kitty...thanks. I just know you don't like *schmoopy* so well. :-)

Share Related Posts with Thumbnails