Thursday, September 02, 2004

reacting to the news & my first million

I'm going to make a fortune. And I didn't even have to watch an infomercial. No, I'm going to write a book that's a collection of all the quotes from friends and family -- their initial reactions when I told them I was pregnant. I'm going to publish it in smart colors, cloth cover but pocket-sized - like the "overheard at the bookstore" books, or that one with quotes from NY taxi drivers - and I'm going to send it out with stunningly attractive cardboard displays painted like marble that can be placed right at the cash register for that last-minute, impulse buy. I'm going to be rich, I tell you.

Who wouldn't want to own this stuff? --
There was Angela, who had witnessed my apparent downward spiral in health before I knew what was going on. When I told her I was pregnant, she blurted out, "Oh thank God! I thought you had leukemia!"

There was my sister, who nearly let out a high-pitched, quite uncharacteristic squeal. Then told me, "The first year is great, you'll love it." I inquired about the next 17 but never got an answer.

Eve said "wow," a lot. It went something like, "Wow, Wow-wow-wow. Wow. Wow...Wow-wow." etc. She'd told me once all her friends were becoming stay-at-home moms and she wanted to be one too, just without the kids.

And there were the 2,000+ variations on "everything happens for a reason." Then Anne. Anne was the only one. She sniffed here and there collecting data and then asked, "So, where do you stand on the 'everything happens for a reason' line of philosophies." Anne is smart. That's why Anne's my friend. Anne will share in my fortune. The rest of you are SOL.


Anonymous said...

alright, ann sounds cool. but which sister? did i say that? anyway its true. the first year IS great. and i think i must have just changed the subject, i wasn't avoiding the question or anything. i don't want your lousy money anyway.

Kitty said...

mmm-hmmm. ah, yah, that was you. the other sister would have simply squealed and wouldn't have known jack about the first year or any other. i'm leaving the kid with you while i jet off to sandy islands on all that money you don't want.

Anonymous said...

i really don't think i squealed.

Kitty said...

that's why it says "nearly let out" a squeal. you thought about it.

Anonymous said...

i am not prone to squealing, and in fact never thought about it. i'm sure that the last time i squealed i was enjoying something oh so much more interesting than you gestating.

AnnieD said...

Aww, shucks, Kitty...thanks. I just know you don't like *schmoopy* so well. :-)

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